Negotiation Stands Alone

Michael Tsur, Atty.

Negotiation and Crisis Management Specialist
Founder of Shakla & Tariya and Developer of the Tsur Method

Negotiation: a way of life

My mother’s family was from Yemen, my father’s family was from Germany, and I was born and raised in Jerusalem where we spoke seven languages at home. Growing up in Israel turned almost every day of mine into a negotiation exercise. Whether bargaining for a better sandwich in the playground or for a lower price in the market, negotiating was part of my daily life. Being exposed to this wealth of opportunities to practice the art of negotiation was fundamental to my character development. Nevertheless, as natural as the negotiation process had become for me, it improved considerably when I began my academic studies in 1987.

I did have experience, but experience is not enough, and I came to understand that instituting negotiation as a specialized profession would benefit many people. In other words, I realized the enormous potential in professional negotiation globally and in the way it could be recognized and taught.

The opportunities to acquire negotiation skills in my youth were invaluable, but studying and practicing mediation led me to understand that although mediation is an estimable vocation, it is ultimately about negotiating through a third party, which is a limitation. My teaching experience has only reinforced my recognition of negotiation as a profession if only for the sheer magnitude of its necessity and its possibilities.

Negotiation is how we get from one point to the next like riding a bicycle or driving a car. People negotiate all day long, and negotiations are conducted all over the world all the time in one form or another. I would therefore assert that the skills of negotiation must be esteemed, and that the profession of negotiation must be recognized as a distinct profession.

Negotiation: practicing humility

Nearly everyone can ride a bicycle or drive a car. I could consider myself a professional driver, since I am experienced in riding a bicycle and driving a motorcycle, a car and a truck, but although I have passed courses and have been licensed, I have my limitations, and while there are more than a few hills near Jerusalem, where I live, I would fail miserably driving in snow in Canada or driving on ice in Finland. Nevertheless, it is not only the topographical terrain that challenges our driving, it is also the demographical terrain.

I once prepared for a business trip in India by studying maps and estimating the time it would take me to get from Hyderabad Airport to Hi-Tech City.  Nevertheless, I asked an airport functionary to estimate the trip duration and was told that it would take approximately one hour.  I was astonished since it was only twenty kilometers, but the official was right. It took forty-nine  minutes.  The humanity and business of daily life on that road was something I had not anticipated. I knew neither the shortcuts nor  the language—yes, the language.  There was a honking code used by the drivers to signal intent and speed.  So much for my confidence and experience. So much for maps.  This was a negotiation for which I had neither the experience nor the preparation, even with three licenses tucked neatly in my wallet. It could be learned, but with no time for such a course, I embraced my shortcomings and humbly engaged a driver for the rest of the trip.

While Israelis may not be famous for their humility, this attribute is often the most productive tool for achieving an objective.  For negotiating, in all its forms, humility is an invaluable asset. 

That driving experience in India led me to conclude that seasoned, experienced professionals are equipped to guide highly skilled individuals as they negotiate particular situations, and that  a negotiation specialist wil be equipped to assist individuals as they navigate uncharted waters.

Negotiation: a unique profession in a global world

“In life, you don’t get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate for,” and you get even more if you are assisted by a negotiation specialist. All over the world, local has become global, and a successful negotiator must have maximum global exposure and experience.

Everyone everywhere needs to negotiate and does, but in order to communicate appropriately, even the most experienced CEO has a lot to learn from a negotiation specialist and a lot to gain from professional negotiation support. Acknowledgement of norms in familial and societal hierarchies, for example, is one of the many critical subtleties that a negotiation specialist will be able to provide.

Establishing and designing an institution for educating negotiation specialists is therefore natural and necessary for the evolution of this profession, and the curriculum for negotiation as a profession must combine academic study and practical experience in a wide range of fields. 

Negotiation standards must be instituted, and since a significant part of the learning process would have to include following negotiation processes from beginning to end, as well as the personal development that only time can provide, such a course of study would have to span at least one year.

In addition to practical experience, becoming a negotiation specialist requires processing the self. The self must undergo a process alongside theory acquisition and methodology training.  

Capacity for self-assessment beyond basic self-awareness is not as simple as it sounds. Achieving maturity and proficiency in handling one’s ego requires time, experience and a clear ethical code.

The current revival of soft skills, focusing on the need for good interpersonal practices in all forms of management, may be one response to the hi-tech revolution and its brand of disconnect, which has considerably reduced  face-to-face verbal communication in real time, and which is at the core of training to become a negotiation specialist. Megatrends are a starting point for analyzing our world. They influence the driving forces that define our present and future worlds, and the interaction between megatrends is no less important than any one of them. Megatrends also provide us with knowledge about the probable future, which is why future studies and global companies use them for developing and working on diverse scenarios. 

In light of emerging megatrends, higher life expectancy and longer employment, we should also be considering new frameworks for retired and early retirement professionals. In a world about to be inundated with a corps of professionals rich in life experience, who have another twenty years of productivity to contribute to society, at least, becoming a negotiation specialist is a worthy option to consider.

Negotiation: the evolution of a profession

Many years ago, when I asked a mentor to define what a profession is, the short answer was that a profession must include theory, practice and an ethical code. 

Instead  of theory, I would say methodology, because what some people might refer to as theory ultimately comes down to choosing what method to apply. It is the third criterion, however, the ethical code, that is, in my opinion, the key to the evolution of a distinct profession.

From my experience as a negotiator, the missing link, the keystone which gets too little if any attention, is the ethical code. In the global village, where ethical codes are more culture-specific than ever, more attention must be given to an ethical code, which is essential for  negotiation to emerge as a profession that is adaptable to any culture. 

The next steps in the evolution of the field of professional negotiation are to formalize, structure and upgrade all that has already been developed. I therefore recommend gathering this massive amount of experience under one roof, which would serve as a formal validation, and acknowledging the practice of professional negotiation as an inclusive rather than an exclusive process. It should in no way dismiss or diminish all that has been developed and that continues to succeed in negotiation training.

The Nine Fundamentals of Global Negotiation Education

Negotiation standards must be instituted, and an academic program for specializing in negotiation should teach and train practitioners in at least the nine basics of negotiation, from the more simple to the more complex, in the context of cultural and regional specifications.

Contacts in today’s hi-tech world are made internationally through the internet and the ease of world travel, and while stereotypes are being examined, individualism still rules, and it is personal culture that must be recognized and considered in the negotiation process. This requires asking questions, which is an art, and mastery of this art can minimize potential damage due to insufficient cultural awareness. Asking the right questions in the right way is an essential skill to acquire in order to becomie a negotiation specialist.

The following is an outline of the nine fundamental courses of study that are necessary for mastering negotiation as a specialized profession, and these courses could be completed in approximately 800 credit hours of frontal instruction with additional hours of practice outside the classroom.

1. Negotiation and Interests/Needs

The basic and most common mode of negotiation world-wide.

The Seven Elements of Collaborative Interest-Based Negotiation method presented in Getting to Yes, the innovative book by Roger Fisher and William Ury, will work for most people in the Western world, but it requires adaptation and modification for other regions, and in our changing world, which is so affected by the multi-cultural stew in which we simmer, this has become even more of a necessity for the negotiation specialist.

People buy, sell, exchange, and interact internationally based on their needs. In different places in the world, there are different ways to trade, barter or exchange goods. The common denominator is that the negotiating parties must be satisfied and able to live in peace with the outcome, and the criteria for success are that neither the process nor its outcome will effect any negative fallout or residual hard feelings and, above all, that it will not have disabled the next deal.

In professional training, the goal of teaching interest-based negotiation is to demonstrate the very basics of the negotiation process, to show how the process of doing what people do all day long can be more effective and more efficient. Even at this primary level of interest/needs-based negotiation, it is essential to assimilate the importance of location and societal nuances as determining factors in the effectiveness of any negotiation process. They must be taken into consideration. In Italy or Spain, for example, interrupting negotiations for a siesta is not considered inefficient.

These observations are based on the necessary distinction between interests and needs, since they are integrally related to the locale of the negotiation and the culture of the negotiators. A negotiation specialist must therefore be skilled in addressing this law of nature, especially in the business world, where it is never about this deal but always about the next one, and where long term goals are no less important than an immediate sense of achievement.

2. Negotiation and Gender

Awareness of gender issues and how they vary in different places.

For the purpose of negotiation, gender applies in at least two ways, in awareness of gender differences and in gender-differentiated behavior.

Sensitivity to the roles played by men and women, and to the roles they are allowed to play in different cultures when negotiating, is important. In some cultures, such as among the Jewish ultra-Orthodox, women may negotiate only with women, while in other cultures, even raising the question of what is acceptable or unacceptable for women will seem terribly inappropriate.

The male tendency to approach negotiation as though it were a battlefield has made negotiating far more complex than simply achieving short or long term goals. Listening, collaborating and articulating have become more and more integral to the negotiation process, which requires a synthesis of intellect and emotion, mind and heart. This makes the gender issue crucial. A particular negotiation may proceed more effectively and achieve greater success if done by a male in some cases and by a female in others. Recognizing the impact of gender on a negotiation process, and the need to address it, is essential although it will vary from place to place.

Gender is one of a wide range of factors that affect the negotiation process, factors known as shadow negotiation, which are rarely mentioned but are instrumental in positioning.

3. Negotiation and Emotions

How emotions emerge and function in negotiation.

  • Emotions of the parties involved in the process.
  • Emotions of external parties that may affect the process.
  • Emotions of the negotiating parties.

Awareness of this range of emotions and how to work with them must be part of negotiation training. As proven on three occasions by Nobel laureates John Nash, Daniel Kahneman, Amos Tversky and Israel Aumann, the rational is ruled by the emotional.

In different cultures, dealing with emotions will obviously vary, but emotions are always there. A negotiation specialist must be taught how to approach this fact. A successful process will result in an outcome reached by knowing that emotions are present and in a situation where emotional levels have been moderated. The triple-A key for facilitating emotions in negotiation is Aware, Allow and Address, a concept that enables the negotiator to observe, respect, acknowledge and address emotions as they emerge.

Mastering emotions begins with the self. No one can negotiate successfully or influence others without awareness of his own emotions. Humility, which is acquired through rich experience and great curiosity, plays a big part in the challenge of dealing with emotions and in maintaining the degree of composure necessary for dealing with emotions, which are part of every negotiation process, requires practice in order to express difficulties without damaging relationships or the negotiation process.

4. Negotiation and Culture

Awareness and curiosity about cultural factors.

There is a difference between what a geographical location may indicate and how a person may be influenced by his culture. No one is just French or just Chinese. Every person is a unique entity. All the same, a negotiation specialist must be aware of cultural influences.

The most important concept to grasp for this is curiosity, the desire to learn from different manners and customs in order to determine what is appropriate for a particular locale. Family, neighborhood, workplace, nationality and religion are some of the factors that inform personal culture. 

A negotiation specialist must be aware of cultural differences, especially in a world where people may look alike, dress alike and speak the same language. Understanding these differences, acknowledging them and embracing their diversity is extremely valuable. Not understanding this fact about the new global community in everyone’s backyard will weaken both the emotional and the rational foundations on which the negotiator relies. A person’s culture relates to his identity, which makes it a delicate issue requiring great sensitivity.

5. Negotiation and Crisis

“Do or die” situations/potential situations.

In stressful situations, external forces are at work, and controlling our reactions is challenging. The quality of decision-making is critical in such situations because of the severe damage that relationships and involved parties could suffer. When we are under pressure, we tend to err and make decisions thinking that we have all the necessary information at our disposal, and that we can rely on our past experience and on our interpretation of the situation. This is not so. There is always time for thinking constructively and consulting available sources.

The nine components of negotiating crisis situations are:

  • Team Building
  • Risk Evaluation
  • Time Assessment
  • Communication Channels: direct and indirect 
  • Leverage: physical, rational and emotional
  • Intermediaries: those who CARE, who are Capable, Available, Reliable and Effective 
  • Interim Agreements: trust-building steps
  • The Final Scene: recognition and creation
  • Maintaining Relationships: monitoring and preserving achievements

“Do or die” doesn’t necessarily refer to a life or death situation. It could refer to the life of a project, a deal or a relationship. The role of a negotiation specialist is to practice structured methodology and adapt it to particular circumstances, because directing the process will have a great impact on its outcome, which depends on the process.

6. Negotiation and Multiple Parties

Exponentially growing challenges.

A party to a negotiation is a person who may influence or determine the outcome. Every multi-party negotiation has a volatile group dynamic that can change from session to session. It is therefore vital to identify the different roles assumed such as leader, trouble-maker, joker, problem-solver, and so on. Being sensitive to the group-think phenomenon, which can be problematic, is also critical, particularly when the group is used to working together or has been successful in the past. A decision-making process is intricate and requires paying attention to such dynamics. Multi-party negotiation therefore requires extra time in order to limit potential miscommunications and their consequences. The ability to work in a group has a huge effect on the sense of involvement, which results in commitment to the process and to its outcome.

7. Negotiation and Leadership

A manager negotiates things right, a leader negotiates the right things.

A manager focuses on goals and objectives and often serves as a role model. His focus is generally on overall systemic objectives, whereas a leader is charged with creative vision. A leader sees beyond the here and now, and in light of political considerations present in leadership negotiation, creative vision is one of the most complex points and requires successful experience in all the preceding fundamentals of negotiation training.

In leadership negotiation, it is vital to recognize the different types of leaders: 

  • Charismatic: based on personality, not credentials
  • Status: based on specific responsibilities
  • Circumstantial: context and events-related
  • Enabling: empowering and supportive
  • Power-based: as in nature, the strongest survive

In order to offer expertise, a negotiation specialist must have acquired a clear grasp of the following elements of leadership as they are emerging in the world today:

  • Transparency
  • Accountability (responsibility and validation)
  • Staff Development
  • Impact of Exposure (including media)

• Political Dynamics (internal and external)

8. Negotiation and Religion

How to negotiate the non-negotiable.

Religion and ethics are not negotiable. They are often stronger than needs or emotions, and they have no price tag. They are identity-oriented, and the only way to negotiate them is to recognize and accept them. Religion and ethics can have a great impact on a negotiation, and in our global world, they can confound even a most brilliant negotiator.

Religious issues often include a public figure or authority who functions as a public opinion formulator. Such a figure, while not sitting at the negotiation table, may have more impact on the outcome than anyone else. This is where humility can facilitate the negotiation process by respecting the religion and values of the negotiating parties. Raw edges are exposed in such a scenario, and there is no room for judgment. There is no right or wrong. The situation is fragile and must be approached accordingly, by understanding, even if not agreeing, for the sake of mutuality and coexistence.

9. Negotiation and Conflict

Pitfalls that prevent a negotiation from succeeding – how to get back on track.

The unexpected can and usually does present itself in any kind of negotiation. Proficiency and ease when dealing with conflicts is often the Achilles Heel of leaders and professionals, which makes these skills indispensable for all negotiators whose input may be especially critical. There are two categories of skills required for disputes that may arise when negotiating or when executing an agreement. The first category is conflict processing and management, which is comprised of the processes, methods and tools for managing the negotiation. When dealing with conflicts that can range from simple misunderstandings to clever manipulations, or even something as common as a change in negotiating participants, it is mainly communication skills, derived from a blend of confidence and humility, that provide transparency. The second category is dispute resolution, which is practiced when the parties themselves realize, after making their best efforts, that third-party intervention is necessary. A negotiation specialist will be sensitive to timing and prepare the client for the implications and impending changes in the situation including the third party’s position. A negotiation specialist will consider urgency and assets, and know when third-party intervention by a facilitator, mediator, evaluator, arbitrator or even a court of law, may be the most practical choice under the circumstances.

The Importance of Life Experience

Nothing can replace interpersonal experience. The kind of maturity needed for a negotiation specialist will directly correspond to the volume of his interpersonal dialogues whether they have been successful or not. A negotiation specialist will have become sensitive to eye contact, body language, attire, physical appearance and taste, both culinary and cultural, and this sensitivity can be developed neither by reading nor by internet communication, which are one-dimensional. Interaction is essential.

A negotiation institute seeking to produce a cadre of high caliber negotiation specialists will have an optimum success rate by accepting individuals with a high aptitude for the negotiation process, and by identifying candidates with extensive life experience, which gives them a wealth of references to access in their assessment of the approaches and methodologies they obtain.

Age does matter. Although modern technology has introduced fabulous advances, YouTube and Facebook are no substitute for life experience. In human relations, real time is a force of nature that hi-tech has yet to match. The impact of interpersonal relations on negotiation is substantial, and although many people are wise beyond their years, a 40-year-old will have had more life experience on an interpersonal level than a 22-year-old just out of college. A person’s character is enriched by dealing with the challenges that come his way, and a negotiator with more experience will have greater depth the longer he has been on this planet. The extended parameters and demands of global negotiation further reinforce my view that negotiation as a distinct profession is more than justified.

Post-Win-Win

Since this article was first written about ten years ago, a lot has been done to substantiate negotiation as a distinct and genuine profession for all intents and purposes. In our global world, negotiation specialists have become more and more indispensable. Most significant in the evolution of negotiation as a profession, as far as I am concerned, has been the founding of the first school for negotiation specialists, Shakla & Tariya, which is now in its seventh academic year.

Shakla & Tariya has a curriculum based on a method of conducting negotations leading to results that are effective, efficient and sustainable. It is the first school of its kind in the world for training negotiation specialists who  may then advise and support individuals and companies in diverse negotiation processes no matter how complex or challenging.

Negotiation specialists are currently perceived by many individuals and companies all over the world as essential factors in effective management. It is the negotiation specialist’s responsibility to effectively guide complicated decision-making processes, sensitive situations and crises, that are likely to impact the function and future of the individual or the company.

The role of the negotiation specialist is also to assist in utilizing resources as efficiently as possible with an emphasis on saving management time, maintaining an operative focus and minimizing expenses. For the individual or the company, dealing with these challenges always involves change, since the variables affecting the negotiation process and its results may change within a fraction of a second. Any significant state change will challenge the decision-makers, since it will necessitate updating the understanding of the situation and the process. Such updates cannot be obtained without the participation of all the relevant parties, and every change will therefore have the decision-makers trying to convince others to cooperate in view of the change. Since change is the greatest constant in our lives, and any attempt to convince anyone about anything is about negotiating, every one of us, whether making decisions or being affected by them, negotiates all day every day.

Understanding the predominance of negotiation in our lives leads to the realization that conducting negotiations correctly with the right methodology is important threefold: to extinguish fires, to prevent fires and to steer state changes. In other words, conducting and processing negotiations correctly will help us stop being affected by changing situations and start affecting them.

The well-known and prevalent win-win approach seeks to shape and stabilize relationships for the long term. Nevertheless, a win-win outcome is no miracle cure, since the negotiating parties will uphold the agreement reached as long as it is worthwhile. In the event of a change in the favorable balance, a violation of the win-win outcome may become unavoidable or even advisable.

In the win-win era, constancy was assumed. Decisions were based on a power balance and a range of specific interests, with the assumption that they were static and that they would remain so. The updated method offered in the programs at Shakla & Tariya presumes change and asserts that we are in a post-win-win era, in which the power balance and the assessment of interests in negotiation results are in a dynamic process of change, and commitments to uphold agreements reached will consequently undergo change. Change will often erode commitment to the point of defaulting or even violating an agreement. This commitment erosion is not acknowledged properly in the win-win negotiatioin method, in which negotiation results, such as  decisions to execute or agreements, are perceived as final and their violation as a breach of trust.

Successful negotiations will lead to an agreement reached by parties who have experienced a respectful process with which they are pleased. They will be able, in the long term, to live in peace with the process itself as well as with its outcome. This kind of negotiating recognizes the importance of the relationship between the parties and pays no less attention to the day after than to the particular details of the agreement. This is the method in a nutshell. Adopting this method and assimilating it in real time will preclude the wasted resources we frequently notice in the routines of so many organizations, within and without, due to inadequate understanding of the relationship between the negotiating parties and insufficient attention to their changing needs.

In conclusion, this method results in negotiation outcomes that are effective, efficient and sustainable. It provides a process that is effective due to its methodology, which is universal because it is humane, and enables conducting the manner of the negotiation and thereby directing its content. The process is efficient, because it is based on early recognition of successes and failures, which precludes the superfluous investment of resources. This early recognition is maintained by relevant information obtained by enabling the constructive communication on which this method is based. Finally, this method leads to sustainable outcomes, because it attributes paramount importance to the relationship between the parties, which is continuously maintained in order to preserve the commitment of the partners to the process and its outcome, while retaining the awareness that data and circumstances may change and, above all, always keeping the day after in mind. Shakla & Tariya is a school that provides a range of programs in the many diverse fields of professional negotiation, with training programs of different scopes that focus on different realms of content. It is also a center for negotiation specialists, a forum where its graduates can share, consult, brainstorm and refer potential clients to one another according to the specific expertise required. It is a dream come true,  even though there is still a long way to go that is challenging but even more fascinating, and we should also remember that dreams don’t work unless you do.

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