Asking Questions

“If I had an hour to solve a problem, and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask, because if I knew the right question, I could solve the problem in less than five minutes.” 
Albert Einstein

Instead of a period, use a question mark.
A question is a powerful tool.
Asking the right question is an art and probaby the most important skill in negotiating.
It’s an art comprised of a number of elements that help us complete any process optimally no matter how complex.
The good news?
At Shakla & Tariya you can acquire the training and skills to master this art.

An unasked question is a missed opportunity.

Research has shown that questions are the milestones in building trust. They enable transparency and receptivity, and contribute to the removal of obstacles, moving the conversation forward and finding solutions on the way to an agreement.
In every conversational situation, whether between partners, between an employer and an employee, in team sessions, and, of course, in business negotiations, it was proven that asking the right questions contributed to creating the atmosphere, building trust and willingness to cooperate.
An effective conversation is not about who is stronger, louder or more forceful. Questions enable us to obtain valuable information from our partner/s to the negotiation. This information enables us to update our data bases, understand the emotional state and thought patterns of the other/s, identify their inner conflicts, thoughts, needs, wishes, even dreams, and, above all, create an effective line of communication. Is there anyone who doesn’t want to be heard?

The Art of Asking Questions

The art of asking questions begins by being a good listener.

Good listening comes from a place of humility and respect for someone you talk to.

It’s a place where you are listening to someone, or to a group of people, with sensitivity to nuances, objections and barriers, in the course of the conversation, thereby learning what to ask, when, and how much.

People who asked more questions, out of curiosity and interest, were perceived as empathetic by the people they spoke to, who were also more receptive to them and more cooperative.

Students at Harvard Business School were instructed in conducting two kinds of conversations:

  1. Asking as few questions as possible – Students in this group reported that the conversation faltered at the basic stage of exchanging information/positions, and they made an effort to develop the conversation but were unable to.
  2. Asking as many questions as possible – Students in this group reported that there was curiosity, an interest in knowing more and mainly that they had been listening, which made the conversation more relaxed and able to develop.

This is where you would ask – Do all questions advance the conversation?

Goal Oriented Questions

In order to ask the right questions, at the right time and in the right amount, one must prepare for the conversation by defining its goals:

  • Getting acquainted
  • Employer to Employee
  • Staff meeting
  • Negotiating about different terms such as a financial agreement

When a goal is presented we can consider several types of questions:

  • An open question – is a question that evokes a reply that exposes and enables the responder to express an opinion, a feeling, views. For example – Do you think buying new equipment would make production more efficient?
  • A closed question – is a word or a short sentence whose answer is usually yes or no.
  • A developing question – is a question regarding an answer to a previous question. For example – Should I understand from what you said that there are errors in the process?
  • An empowering question – is a question such as – How, in your opinion, could they have taken action? What did you think of that idea?
  • A thought provoking question – is a question that encourages thinking and taking action – this is usually for a more advanced stage, after gathering information, when we throw the ball back in the other party’s court. For example – So what would you suggest doing in order to make production more efficient?

Are there any questions?

Asking questions is a skill that reaches the level of an art. It requires trust and intensive training, the ability to know what to ask, to understand the limits of what you are allowed to ask and what is off limits, and perhaps most important in asking questions – when to stop.

Not every question has an answer, but the questions themselves give our partners the sense of being true partners to the process and activate the wheels of their mind, because, ultimately, the negotiation takes place in their mind – and we want to know what’s going on there…

When you approach a conversation with the understanding that “it’s all about the day after,” you will know how to navigate your way through the conversation with the right questions.

For more information about the training program, click here.

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